


Sometimes A Loss Is A Win

by cheri13m



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-24
Updated: 2017-07-31
Packaged: 2018-11-23 18:18:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11407908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cheri13m/pseuds/cheri13m
Summary: The story begins when the USWNT loses in the quarter-finals of the Olympics, and someone, either without thinking or on purpose, lets reporters stick a microphone in Hope Solo's face.  Within a split second, Hope's life is turned upside down when she uses the word "coward".  She and Kelley have finally gotten together, and are so happy.  But will this latest fiasco cause major problems for them.  We'll follow them as they fight to move forward, and save what they have fought so long to have.





	1. The letter

**Author's Note:**

> I've tried to keep this as true to real life as possible, while adding peripheral characters that are not associated with the world of soccer. I'm not sure how many chapters the story will be, but I promise there won't be a lot of angst, and I'll do my best to keep it true to life. There is a lot of narrative and several flashbacks, but in the end, it will all come together to assure the readers of a satisfactory ending.

June 2016/The Olympics

As time ran out, reality sets in. For the first time ever, the USWNT Soccer Team would not be standing on the top podium at the end of the Olympics. They would be going home without even reaching the semi-finals. The result was unbelievable, and to the team that had won the World Cup less than a year earlier, things would never be the same.

And then someone, either without thinking or on purpose, walked Hope Solo in front of a hoard of reporters. In that moment, life as we know it for Hope and the USWNT, would never be the same again. One word, out of an entire interview, would change Hope's life forever, for bad and for good. That word was "cowards". She didn't mean to call the Swedish team "cowards"; she meant to say they played cowardly, but that's not the way it came out. She was referring to their playing style, not the women on the team, or their coach. As soon as the word left her lips, she knew that she had screwed up, but it was too late. At that precise moment, all hell broke loose, and there was nothing she could do about it.

Before she even got back to the hotel, the interview had gone viral, and the haters were out in full force. Members of the 1999 team, and the 2007 team, were already putting their two cents in and were getting their revenge for things Hope had said years earlier. They were relentless, they had been waiting for something like this for a long time and were taking complete advantage of the current situation.

All Hope wanted to do now was go home to her dogs, her mom, and Jerramy. She couldn't get out of Brazil fast enough. So that night, she and Carli were on their way back to the States. She didn't tell anyone goodbye, not even Kelley. She knew Kelley would be hurt and she really hoped that Kelley would understand. She and Kelley had come so far since January and it would literally destroy her if she lost her again. But she had to leave the hell that had been Brazil. Kelley saw Hope in front of the reporters, and that sinking feeling she would always get when something was going wrong with Hope, was now consuming her. Kelley's first thought was "What idiot put Hope in front of reporters just minutes after that earth shaking loss, and why did they do it" ? She didn't have time to answer either of those questions at that moment, but later, when she had returned to the States, it would all become clear. When she was finally able to answer those questions, the answers would completely change her life.

Kelley waited to hear from Hope but there was nothing. No call, no text. She knew Hope was with Carli, and that helped, but she was also hurt that Hope hadn't come to her. She understood Hope better than anyone, even Carli, and she knew the pain that Hope was dealing with now. So she waited for Hope to call or text, knowing that she was trying to keep Kelley from feeling not only her own pain, but Hope's as well. As usual she was trying to protect Kelley, but this one time, Kelley wished she hadn't done that. She just wanted to be strong for Hope this time. Just before Kelley was heading down to dinner, she received a text from Hope. "Kell - I love you so much, but I have to get away from here now. I'm at the airport about to board the plane. I'm sorry I didn't call before I left. I know you want to be with me now, but I couldn't put all of my pain onto you. I know your friends are there with you and they will take care of you. I'll call when I get home. I love you so much." Even though Kelley understood, damn it hurt. She just wanted to be with Hope. Although they had finally gotten their act together in January, and were now officially together, no one knew except their families and closest friends. It had been hard keeping their relationship secret, but it was necessary for the time being. They needed the public to believe that Hope was happily married to Jerramy so their WNT careers wouldn't be in jeopardy. Hope also didn't want her negative publicity to have an impact on Kelley, so they continued to keep the secret. And now with this new situation, it seemed that the pretending would go on even longer. All of this would have to be addressed at some point, but now wasn't the time. The only positive to come out of the situation, was that Kelley could be as sad as she wanted to be missing Hope, and no one would be the wiser. So she decided to go on to Rio with her friends and try to enjoy the rest of the Olympics. But after a few days, she just couldn't deal anymore, and she flew back to the states.

As she was flying home, she thought about how hard it had been between January and the Olympics for her and Hope to pretend they were just friends. Not only was the distance between their club teams hard, but when they were in camps they had to pretend that they were just friends. They had to monitor how they interacted with each other and even how they looked at each other. The few times they were able to sneak off and be together, were few and far between. And although a few of their closest friends on the team would help them have some alone time, it was still hard. Who knew that pretending not to love someone could be so exhausting.

The next few months after the Olympics were not easy. Hope and Kelley talked on the phone, texted, Facetimed and Skyped. They saw each other when their club teams played, but things didn't feel the same after they returned home. Even though Hope was still playing, she was having a hard time dealing with all of the publicity from the interview at the Olympics. All hell had broken loose. Not only had the media continued to write about the interview, but they also brought up all of the past problems Hope had. They just wouldn't let them go. Along with the media, her teammates from 1999 and 2007 were still giving her hell. And then several of her World Cup teammates, were for lack of a better phrase, throwing her under the bus. It felt like 2007, part 2. The affect that all of this was having on Hope was growing by the day, and Kelley could feel the emotional distance between them grow wider and wider.

August 17, 2016

Hope finally received the letter she was both dreading, and anxious, to receive. It was about the meeting with Jill Ellis and Dan Flynn. The meeting was scheduled for August 24th at 9:00am. In one week she would finally learn what the USSF was going to do. The keeper was tired of wondering what was going to happen. She had a really bad feeling about the meeting, and didn't feel very optimistic about the outcome. She knows she should let Kelley know about the letter, but she doesn't want to worry her just yet. The old voices are starting to remind Hope that she doesn't deserve to be with Kelley, that Kelley would be better off without her, and that she'll only end up hurting her. So far she's been able to keep the voices at bay, but if this meeting goes as bad as she expects it to, she won't be able to keep them out. All she can do now is wait and worry.

When the letter arrived, Hope was home by herself. Jerramy was out running errands, so she texted him. "The letter arrived" she said, he would know what she meant. When he arrives home an hour later, Hope is sitting by the pool. "Hi" he says quietly as he sits down in a lounge chair next to Hope. "How are you doing?"

Hope looks at him and answers "I'm ok, I think." She waits a minute and then continues. "I'm not expecting anything good, but maybe they will surprise me".

"Hope, have you called Kelley?"

"Not yet, I don't want to worry her. I also don't want to get her caught between the USSF and me."

Jerramy turns and sits on the side of the lounge so he can look at Hope. "Hope, she really needs to know. She's your partner and she loves you. You don't always have to protect her from everything bad. You really need her with you for this."

"I'll tell her tonight when I call her. I guess I'm afraid that if this meeting turns out the way I think it's going to, she'll decide she's had enough and leave me. I really couldn't blame her if she did, but I honestly don't know what I would do without her in my life."

"Hope, you really are underestimating her. She loves you so much, she is not going to walk away from you. She came back after doing everything she could to get over you, so I can't imagine that whatever USSF throws at you, no matter how bad it is, will cause her to give up and walk away. It's not going to happen."

Hope looks out at the water and lets what Jerramy said sink in. She closes her eyes and thinks back over the years that brought them to this moment.

Flashback  
From the very beginning, Hope and Kelley seemed to have a special connection, and were drawn to each other. It didn't make any sense to anyone, not even Hope and Kelley themselves. Even though they were complete opposites, they   
were continually pulled toward each other. By the time the 2012 Olympics happened, they had become really close. Their relationship had progressed from friends, to really good friends, to feelings that seemed to be heading towards  
something more.

As these feelings begin to escalate, Hope's fears begin to take over. She's beginning to fall for Kelley and she's pretty sure Kelley feels the same way. But Hope's fears are taking over and making her think of all the reasons a romantic   
relationship with Kelley wouldn't work. 1. Kelley is so young, a lot younger than Hope, and she has her whole life ahead of her. 2. Kelley is her teammate and that could cause them both to be dropped from the National Team. 3. She's into men.  
She once kissed a woman and felt nothing, therefore there's no way she could be with a woman like that. 4. She wants to get married and have kids. She can't do that with a woman, or at least that's what went through her mind at that moment. 5. The feelings for Kelley  
are just the result of the excitement of the Olympics. 6. What would her fans and the media say about her being with a woman like that. She's sure it would completely destroy her career. 7. All of the negative publicity surrounding Hope would cause problems for Kelley. She also knew she could conjure up more excuses to justify walking away from Kelley if she really tried.

When the Olympics are over and everyone is leaving London for home, she hugs Kelley and tells her goodbye. Oh God it hurts, but she's convinced herself that what she is doing is for the best, for both of them. So she walks away from Kelley,   
boards her flight, and returns to her life in Seattle. Hope does everything possible to stay busy so that she doesn't have the time to think about how much she misses her. She works out, she visits her mom and gets together with her friends.  
Most of the time these distractions work, but sometimes they don't. It's those times that she decides she needs alcohol to help her forget. At least when she's drinking, she doesn't think about Kelley.

During this time she becomes reacquainted with Jerramy Stevens through some of her friends. She and Jerramy knew each other in college and even dated casually a few times. But after they graduated, they went their separate ways. Jerramy  
to play football and Hope to play soccer. They completely lost contact with each other until Hope returned from the Olympics. They meet again through mutual friends, they begin dating, and in a matter of a few months they are engaged.  
Everyone is completely in shock about how quick this happened. No one saw it coming. Not even Carli, Hope's best friend. Within a short time of the engagement, they are married. Hope really believes this is the way her life is suppose to go,  
and that by getting married it will be the end the unwanted feelings for Kelley.

When Kelley returns home, she is also dealing with her feelings for Hope. She is pretty sure Hope feels the same way, but she hasn't heard from her since they left London. She thinks about calling her, but decides to wait for Hope to call.  
When Kelley hears about Hope's engagement she's devastated, but now she's sure that the feelings were only hers, so now there is nothing she can do but move on with her life. Kelley goes to the wedding because she's Hope's friend and she   
wants to support her, but it takes every bit of courage Kelley can muster to be there.

After the wedding, Kelley returns to Atlanta and decides that she is going to do everything she can to get over Hope. The following year, when she's not playing soccer, she begins partying with an endless parade of beautiful women and   
excessive amounts of alcohol. After a year of one night stands, and heavy drinking, Kelley meets Ann and decides she's ready to stop the partying and one night stands. She believes it's time to accept that Hope is gone for good, that maybe Ann is the person  
who will help Kelley finally let her go. She is so ready for her life to get back on track and just be happy.

The next few years Hope and Kelley are in and out of camps less than usual because of the non-World Cup and Olympics years. They don't have much contact during these years and each one believes the other one is happy with their lives now.  
The times they do see each other during camps, the old feelings begin to creep back in. They both try hard to act like everything is great in their lives, but it takes every ounce of strength from both of them to pretend that they are happy with  
the choices they have made. They make sure they are never alone together, and when they're with the team, they just act like teammates. What is so ironic is that neither of them is aware of what the other is doing. This is not easy for either  
of them, but it's what they have to do.

End of flashback.

Hope is not sure how long her eyes were closed, but when she opens them, Jerramy is still sitting next to her. She turns to him and smiles. "Thank you for everything. I know things are so different that we thought they would be when we   
started out. It's been really bad at times, but there have also been good times." Jerramy smiles and nods so Hope continues. "But through it all, the good and the bad, you've been my friend. You've been there for me, so thank you, for then and  
for now."

Jerramy turns and sits on the side of the lounge again. "You are very welcome. Thank you too. It really has been a rocky road at times for both of us, but everything that has happened, has brought us to where we are now. And where we are now  
is the happiest either of us has ever been. So I would say it was all worth it." Hope smiles at him, "You are so right, but there were times I didn't think we would survive everything." Hope leans back and closes her eyes again, as does Jerramy.

Flashback  
It's spring of 2015 and the team is gearing up for the World Cup. They have a few more games before they head to Canada, but now they're at home with their families. In Seattle Hope is getting ready for the next few months and dealing with  
the nerves she always has before any big tournament. Jerramy knows that Hope becomes nervous and sometimes distant before these tournaments, but it seems worse lately. He knows this may not be the best time to say something, but he  
decides that he has to find out why she is so on edge. So a few nights before she leaves for the next camp, he decides they need to talk. He asks her to come into the living room and sit down. He tells her that he knows something is wrong, and   
he really wants to know what is going on.

Hope sits still for a minute and looks at Jerramy. She knew that she was going to have to address this at some point, but she wanted to wait until after the World Cup. Now she's thinking that talking to him now might be the best thing for both  
of them. She has become so tired of pretending and working so hard to make their marriage work. She takes a deep breath and dives in. She decides that Jerramy needs to know the truth.

She tells him about how she started having feelings for Kelley before the 2012 Olympics and how she convinced herself that she shouldn't have those feelings. She tells him that she really believed that those feelings would go away after they   
met and were married, because she really believed that she loved him. But even though the feelings went away for awhile, they kept returning stronger than ever each time. She explains that although she did still love him, she was not in love   
with him. She assures him that she really did think she was in love with him when they were married, and she apologized for hurting him and not being honest with him. She told him that she felt really bad because she knew he loved her, and   
that she was being so unfair to him.

After Hope finished, they both just sat and looked at each other with tears in their eyes. Hope's tears were because she really did love Jerramy and the last thing she wanted to do was hurt him. His tears were from relief, because sometime during  
the 3 years they had been together, it dawned on him that although he did love Hope, he wasn't in love with her anymore, if he had even been in the first place. And although he didn't have feelings for anyone else now, he really did want the   
opportunity to be with someone that he was in love with.

They stayed up most of the night telling each other things that should have been discussed at the beginning, and talked about what they wanted to do from now on. They decided to leave things like they were for now. The only change would be  
that they would each have their own bedroom because sleeping in the same bed had become uncomfortable for both of them. For the time being everything else would remain the same because neither wanted , or needed, any upheavel in their  
lives now. As situations changed they would make the necessary decisions to go forward with their separate lives.

A few days after Hope and Jerramy talked, she leaves for camp and the friendlies, before they begin gearing up for the World Cup. With all of the workouts and media events, Hope doesn't have much time to think about the new direction her  
life is going to take. Although she is now free to be with Kelley, she believes that Kelley is happy with Ann, and she would never do anything to hurt her. She comes to the conclusion that she missed her chance when she walked away from her  
to marry Jerramy, and if Kelley was happy, she needed to move on. It hurt like hell, but once again the voice in her head was telling her that she deserved what was happening and to just let her go.

As it gets closer to the time to leave for Canada, Hope senses a shift in her and Kelley's interactions. They seem to be more comfortable around each other, and they seem to be letting the old feelings show some. Unknown to Hope, Kelley is   
having the same feelings about her relationship with Ann that Hope had about Jerramy. And although Kelley thinks Hope is happy in her marriage, she's having a hard time staying away.

After they win the World Cup and get through all of the celebrations and awards shows, things begin to settle down somewhat before they begin the Victory Tour. Without the other knowing, they both feel those old feelings coming back at full  
force. But they each think that the other one is happy, so they decide to stay away from each other unless absolutely necessary. They get through the Victory Tour and all of the retirements with both of them still trying to push down their ever  
growing feelings. It's getting harder and harder to be around each other and not tell the other one how they feel.

Jerramy decides not to go with Hope during the Victory Tour. He decides to stay in Seattle and get use to his new found freedom, and he wants to give Hope her space. He knows how hard it's been for her to be around Kelley and not be able  
to let her know how she feels. He socializes with his friends and is really beginning to enjoy being on his own. During one of his nights out he becomes reacquainted with a former girlfriend from college. Her name is Chelsea, and she's   
divorced. Over the months they see each other more and more and begin to talk. They discover that they actually have a lot in common. In the beginning they spend most of their time with the group since Jerramy still has to pretend that   
his marriage to Hope is still good. As time goes on they become closer and he explains to Chelsea the situation with Hope, but that he has to be careful who he's seen with when he's out. They begin spending time away from the group but  
privately. Being together feels so easy and comfortable. It's like they are picking up where they left off when they were in college.

Between Thanksgiving and Christmas Jerramy decides to introduce Chelsea to Hope. It's beginning to get serious between them, and he's ready for them to meet. They invite Chelsea over for dinner one night, and although it's somewhat   
awkward at first, by the end of the evening Hope and Chelsea are really getting along. Hope really likes her, but more importantly, she really seems to care about Jerramy. Hope watches the two of them together and sees how happy he  
is. She honestly doesn't think she's ever seen him this happy, and that makes her happy. Now it's time for her to be that happy.  
End of Flashback

Hope and Jerramy have been sitting silently for quite a while, each thinking about the different events that have led them to this moment.

Jerramy sits up and turns toward Hope. "I know this next week is going to be stressful, but after we get through it, I really want us to have the conversation about legalling ending out marriage. Chelsea and I are ready to take our relationship to the next  
level. We really want to be a couple in public and I know you and Kelley are ready for that too."

Hope turns toward him. "I've been thinking the same thing. I think it's time. After the meeting, when we find out what is going to happen, the four of us can sit down and work it out. It's time for the four of us to have the happiness  
we've all been wanting for so long."

Jerramy stands up "I think so too. I'm going to Chelsea's and spend the night. Are you okay?"

"Yes" Hope says. "I'm good. I'm going to work out, shower and eat something. Then I'm going to call Kelley. I want to tell her about the letter, and also what we just talked about. I just need to hear her voice."

Jerramy stands up and kisses the top of Hope's head. As he's heading into the house, he stops and turns around. "We're going to be okay. No matter what happens next week, please believe that. It's not going to always be smooth sailing, but  
I really do believe it will all work out in the end.

Hope gets up and walks up to Jerramy and gives him a hug. "I honestly believe that too. I guess I'm just frightened about the in-between parts, but I do believe that everything will work out eventually." Hope laughs, "and coming from me, that's  
a pretty optimistic statement. Tell Chelsea I said hi, and I'll see you tomorrow.”

Hope works out for an hour, showers and heads for the kitchen to decide what she wants to eat. She thinks about how far she and Kelley have come since they met. She loves Kelley so much, and if she were to lose her  
again, it would absolutely destroy her. She thinks about what Jerramy said about legally ending their marriage, and she agrees that it's time for all of them to begin the new chapters in their lives. Despite what the meeting next week  
has in store for her, she really is cautiously optimistic about what is next for all of them.

After she finishes eating and cleaning up the kitchen, she lays down on the couch and gets ready to call Kelley. But before she can make the call, her phone rings and Kelley's face appears. She answers the phone softly with "Hey" and begins to smile.

"Hey yourself" says Kelley. "How is my favorite person in the whole world?"

"I'm good, but I really miss you", Hope replies, trying to keep the sadness out of her voice. "Can we Skype, because I really need to see you?"

Kelley smiles and tells Hope, "Of course we can. Let me get my laptop set up and you go to your office. I'll call in just a few minutes."

"OK", Hope says. "And Kell?" Kelley replies with "Yeah?" "I love you so much", Hope says. Kelley smiles and replies, "I love you too baby, see you in a few"

They finally get on Skype and are so happy to finally see each other. But it's also really hard not being able to be together and hold each other. Hope tells Kelley about the letter arriving, how she is both relieved that something will finally  
be resolved, and fearful of what the resolution will be. "Hope, whatever happens, I'll be with you, and we will deal with it together" Kelley assures her.

She tells Kelley about the discussion she and Jerramy had about legally ending their marriage. She can see a small smile on Kelley’s lips, along with the happiness and relief in her eyes. Kelley just sits there, trying not to cry. At last all she says is  
"Thanks, you don't know how happy that makes me feel."

After they've talked for almost two hours, Hope sees that Kelley is looking tired and sleepy. She sometimes forgets about the three-hour time difference. "Kell, you look tired."

"I guess I am, it's been a really long day."

"Why don't you lay down and go to sleep? Just put your laptop on the pillow next to your head and we can talk until you fall asleep. I just want to watch you sleep for a while, if that's okay? I miss you so much."

Kelley smiles and says, "Of course it's okay. Next time we'll switch. I miss you too, but it won't be long until we won't have to do this. We'll be able to hold each other all night. Hope, I love you so much."

"I love you too baby, I love you too.” Hope says, and watches as Kelley lays down and pulls the covers up over her.

As she watches Kelley fall asleep, the tears she's been holding in all day finally begin to fall. But instead of angry and sad tears, these are tears of love and hope. Hope never knew that she was capable of loving anyone as much as she  
loves Kelley, and she honestly never believed that someone could ever love her as much as Kelley does. This is a feeling she never wants to let go. Finally, after all she's been through during her lifetime, and what she still has coming from USSF,   
Hope is convinced that everything that has happened is worth it, because of Kelley. Hope never believed that she deserved to be this happy. For so long she didn't know if it would work out for them, but now she is finally beginning to believe  
that the happiness that she never thought she deserved, would actually happen.

As Hope lays back on her pillow, she lets her tears continue to flow freely. For the first time in a long time, she begins to fall into a peaceful sleep. She decides to deal with all of the other stuff tomorrow, or the days after that. For now, this moment is perfect, and that is all she needs.

 


	2. The "MEETING" Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hope has the meeting and learns what her punishment is. Kelley, Jerramy and Chelsea are there to help her deal with the anger and the pain following the meeting.

The week leading up the the meeting, Hope did her best to keep busy so she wouldn't think about what could happen. She worked out and ran errands during the day, Skyped with Kelley at night. During the other times, she, Jerramy and Chelsea spent time together and talked about getting ready for the next chapter of their lives.

The night before the meeting, she talked to Kelley for a long time. Kelley assured Hope that no matter what happened, they would be okay. They would get through it together. Once again they fell asleep on Skype, but unlike the previous week,  
Hope fell into a fitful sleep. Tomorrow she would finally know what the consequences would be for misspeaking and she was really worried about what those consequences would be.

August 24, 2016

When Hope and Jerramy met downstairs that morning, they were both tense. Jerramy was the first to speak, "Do you want something to eat"?, as he walked into the kitchen. "No, I don't think I could keep anything down", Hope said as she sat down  
at the kitchen table. Jerramy knew she really needed something, so he asked "How about a smoothie? Just so you have something in your stomach", as he was getting the needed items to make it. Hope sighs, "You're right, I'll try one. Maybe some toast too".

Jerramy fixes each of them a smoothie and some toast and sits down at the table with Hope. “I'm not going to sit here and tell you that everything is going to be just fine, because I don't know what is going to happen. But I know that you have three people that love and care for you very much and we will be here no matter what happens. We've got you, please know that."

"I do know that and I thank you so much. It means a lot that I have you and Chelsea here, and that you're both going to be with me when I come out of the meeting. Kelley wanted to be here, but I didn't want her caught up in all of the news cycles.  
I can't put her in the middle of this just yet. I'll call her afterwards, if I'm able. If I can't, would please call her and let her know what's happening"? As Hope stands up to get her purse and phone so they can go, Jerramy stands up too and says, "Of course, don't worry, I'll make sure she knows everything".

Just as Hope and Jerramy are leaving the kitchen, the doorbell rings. Jerramy answers the door and greets Chelsea. "Hi Hon, come in". They hug and kiss each other, and Chelsea asks, "How's Hope?” Jerramy replies, "I think she's doing okay for now. She's getting her purse and phone, she'll meet us in the garage. Thank you for coming with us. Hope's really glad you're going to be there.” As they walk into the garage, Chelsea turns to Jerramy, "I'm glad she wants me there. We have to get her through this. I wish Kelley were here, she would really be a big help to Hope."  
"I do too", Jerramy says as he opens the rear car door for Chelsea, "It would be so much better for Hope if Kelley were here, but until we get this marriage situation settled and we don't have to keep everything hidden, it’s probably for the best that she isn't here. It's time to get this all out in the open and stop hiding our relationships".

Just before Jerramy and Chelsea get into the car Hope walks into the garage. "OK, I'm ready", Hope says as she walks up to Chelsea and gives her a hug. "Thank you for being here, it really means a lot to me". Chelsea replies, "There is no place I'd rather be. Whatever you need today, we're here for you. Were you able to get the sleep aids from the doctor, just in case?”  
"Yes I was", Hope says, "I hope I don't need them, but if this turns out to be as bad as I'm expecting, I'll be glad I have them. I honestly can't think of anything good coming out of this meeting. I basically handed them my ass on a silver platter, and I doubt that they will pass up the opportunity to do what they've been wanting to do for a very long time. They don't really need me anymore, so this will be the best time to get rid of me. We will just have to wait and see".

They all get into the car. Jerramy is driving, Hope is in the front passenger seat, and Chelsea is in the rear seat behind Jerramy. Hope turns to Jerramy and asks him, "What time are we supposed to meet the camera crew"? Without turning, Jerramy answers Hope. "We're meeting them at 8:30 in the parking lot. That will give them time to get set up in the room outside of the conference room before 9:00. Are you sure you want to let them record this? Can you get out of it? Hope shakes her head and tells him, "No, because of the contract, pretty much everything I do, within reason, will be part of the show. I had to agree to let them record this, so it is what it is. Okay, we're here and there's the crew", as she spots the crew van, "Let's get this started, and get it over with". They meet with the crew and go to the area outside of the conference room where Hope will meet with Jill and Dan Flynn. The crew gets the camera set up and they wait. At 9:00 sharp, Jill walks out of the conference room and asks Hope to join her and Dan Flynn.

Jerramy, Chelsea and the camera crew wait nervously for the meeting to finish. It's been almost twenty minutes since Hope went in. They're not sure whether the length of time is good or bad. Then the door opens and Hope walks out. They immediately know by the look on Hope's face, and the tears streaming down her cheeks, that the meeting did not go well. Hope looks into the camera and announces the results. "It's a six-month suspension and termination of my contract, effective immediately. Not just a suspension". She hugs Jerramy and he says, "How can they do both"? Hope replies, "It's both. Seventeen fucking years, and it's over". The punishment is worse they imagined it would be. A six-month suspension and the termination of her contract, which is most likely the end of Hope's career with the National Team.

After Hope speaks with the Fullscreen crew, Jerramy decides to stop the recording, and get Hope to the car. He just wants to get her home. Jerramy and Chelsea rush Hope to the car and take her home. Once they get her home, they get her to her bedroom and Chelsea helps her change into her sleep clothes. It's a good thing that she got the sleep aids, because she is beyond angry, and they are really worried about her. Chelsea finally gets her to take a pill. Hope's mind feels like it's going 90 miles an hour, and her heart felt like it was going to beat out of her chest. Chelsea decides to sit with her until she begins to get sleepy, and then goes downstairs to let Jerramy know how she's doing. Just a Hope begins drifting off, she remembers that she was supposed to call Kelley and let her know what happened, but she is so close to sleep she can't get to her phone. Her last thought before sleep takes over is, _'I love you so much, I wish you were here'_.

While everything is happening to get Hope home and settled, Kelley's waiting for a call letting her know what happened. It's been an hour since the meeting was scheduled, and she hasn't heard from Hope. She's sure Hope knows the results by now, so she calls Hope's number. She's starting to get a really bad feeling about what happened, and all she wants to do is talk to Hope. "Hope, Babe, please call and let me know what happened. I love you.” Kelley waits another half hour. Now she's really beginning to get worried. She should have heard something by now, and the feeling of dread is growing by the minute. So she decides to call Jerramy, "Jerramy, I haven't heard from Hope. What happened? Please call me, I'm really getting worried".

After Chelsea goes downstairs and lets Jerramy know that Hope is asleep, they talk about how hard this is going to be on her. Soccer has been her entire life since she was five, and now it could possible be over. They are really concerned about how this is going to affect her. She can only sleep for so long before having to deal with the news she received today. Then all of a sudden Chelsea is hit with a thought, "Has anyone called Kelley"? "Oh no, I completely forgot", as he checks his phone. He remembers that they had all turned off their phones while they were waiting in the meeting room. He checks his voicemail and finds multiple messages from Kelley, as well as multiple texts. He immediately calls her. Kelley's phone rings and she says "Hello". "Kelley, I am so sorry. Things got really crazy after Hope came out of the meeting, and I forgot we had all turned our phones off". Kelley breathes a sigh of relief and asks him, "how is she doing? I was getting so worried when she didn't call, and then I saw the video on ESPN of her saying what happened. How could they do that to her?", she said as she began to cry. "That is so unfair.”

“I don't know Kell, but we'll be able to find out more when things calm down. She took a sleeping pill and she's asleep now. She should sleep for the next seven or eight hours, and then we'll see how she's doing and decide if she needs another pill. Chelsea and I will stay with her until she's better.”

Jerramy, I'm coming to Seattle today. I need to be with her."  
"I think that's a great idea," he says, "She's really going to need you now. I know she's afraid being associated with her is going to hurt your soccer career, and that after what happened today, that you're going to decide that she's not worth all the drama surrounding her. I told her that you weren't going anywhere, but you know how she lets her thoughts take over. Kelley has gotten her tears under control and answers Jerramy, "I don't care what has happened in the past, today or in the future, I'm not going anywhere. We will get through this together.”  
Jerramy smiles when he answers her, "I have never doubted that. What time are you going to get here?"  
"I've got to make some calls and then I'll call you back," Kelley says with more confidence than  a few minutes ago. "Okay, I'll keep my phone close. You can call as soon as you find out.” "Jerramy, if she wakes up, don't tell her I'm coming. I want to be there when she wakes up, so she knows I'm serious about not leaving her.”

"Not a problem", Jerramy says, "I'll talk to you in a few.”

Kelley hangs up and calls her dad. Dan O'hara answers his phone. "Kell, are you ok? I just heard about Hope. How is she doing?”  
"Hi dad. I just talked to Jerramy and she's sleeping now. She took the decision really hard, so for now it's best that she stays asleep.” Kelley takes a moment to fidget with her watch before continuing, "dad, do you know of anyone who can fly me to Seattle today? I don't care how much it cost, but it has to be today, and I can't fly commercial. For now I can't be seen going to Seattle."  
"Let me make some calls," Dan says, "And I'll get back to you. Don't worry Kell, we'll get you there somehow. I have a flight tonight so I can't take you, but I have an idea of who to call. Let me make some calls, and I'll be back with you in a few minutes."  
"Thanks dad, I really appreciate this".

While Kelley's waiting to hear back from her dad, she gets her go bag ready. She doesn't have to take much because she has complete sets of clothes and personal items at both her's and Hope's houses. She just needs to pack a few things, so it only takes her a few minutes to finish packing. She's just finished packing when her phone rings and she sees her dad's picture. "Dad?”  
"It's me," Dan says. "Kell I found you a ride with Richard and Melanie Fletcher. They're flying to Vancouver Canada, but they said they would be happy to take you Seattle. You'll need to be at the airport by 5:30. It's 4:00. Can you be ready to go in 30 minutes? It's about 30 minutes from your place to the airport, and we need to allow extra time for the traffic.”  
"That's not a problem, I've already packed my bag. I just need to jump in the shower, and I will be ready by the time you get here. Text me when you're downstairs and I'll come right down. Thank you so much, I really appreciate this.”

"Ok Kell, I'm leaving now. I should be at your place in about 30 minutes. And all the thanks I need is to get you to Hope so you can help her get through this. See you soon. I love you."  
"Bye dad, see you soon. I love you too."

As soon as Kelley gets off the phone, she gets into the shower and then gets ready to wait for her dad. While she's waiting, she calls Jerramy to let him know what's happening. His phone rings, "Hi Kell.”  
"Hi Jer. I wanted to let you know that I'm leaving Atlanta at 5:30. As soon as I get to the airport and find out which airport we're flying into, and what time we'll land, I'll call you back. It should be around 5:15, my time."  
"Okay, I'll wait for your call. Talk to you then. Bye."  
Just as Kelley hangs up, her dad's text comes in, and she heads downstairs. She and her dad talk about the decision that was made that morning, and he tells her that her entire family was behind her and Hope. He tells her to call any of them if she needs anything. After a shorter than expected trip, they arrive at the airport. Kelley's introduced to the Fletchers. They seem like really nice people, so Kelley is beginning to relax some before they even leave. She gets the airport location, and the expected landing time, and calls Jerramy.

Jerramy answers his phone, "Hi, Kelley. That was fast."  
"We lucked out with the traffic. Here's the info you need. We'll be landing at Kyles Airport in Snohomish at approximately 8:00, your time. You will be able to drive out to the plane so that I don't have to go into the terminal."  
"Kell, Chelsea and I were talking, and we think it would be better for her to pick you up. That way, no one will recognize me."  
"I think that's a good idea," Kelley says, "just have her go inside the terminal and tell them who she is. They'll tell her how to get out on the tarmac. Mr. Fletcher will call ahead and give them her name so they will be expecting her."  
"Kelley, do you have a few minutes to talk?”  
"Sure, what's going on?"  
"Chelsea and I are going to the cabin for the next week or so. That way you and Hope can spend time together, and Chelsea & I can too. We'll take the dogs with us, so you don't have to worry about them. I'll go to the store to get you enough food and other necessities for the next two weeks. Chelsea will stay here with Hope while I'm gone, and then she will pick you up when you arrive."  
"Jerramy, that sounds great. Thank you both so much. I need to get on the plane now, but I'll see you in about 6 hours. Is Hope still sleeping?"  
Jerramy replies, "Yes, I checked on her a few minutes ago. I'll see you soon."  
"Bye Jer, see you soon."

While waiting to takeoff, Kelley decides to text Carli, Christie, Tobin and Christen to let them know that she is on the way to Hope. She will call them tomorrow and let them know how she is, when she has more information. These four have been the only ones, besides Sam and Nikki, that know she and Hope are together. They have been really good friends since they got together, and helped them spend time together without being found out. Kelley knows they're are just as anxious as she was to find out how Hope is. She wants to ease their minds, at least a little bit.

Right on time the plane takes off. Kelley sits back and tries to relax. There's nothing she can do for five and a half hours. She wants to make the time go by as fast as possible, so she decides the best thing to do is sleep. Kelley doesn't know what's going to happen once she gets to Seattle, so she figures the more rest she can get now, the better off she'll be. Before long she begins to doze off, and within minutes she's fast asleep.

Flashback.

When Hope gets to camp in January, she discovers that maybe that little voice in her head didn't know what the hell it was talking about it. Hope hears from a little birdie, Tobin, that Kelley and Ann had broken up. Tobin didn't know exactly when or why it had happened, but she thought it was information that Hope would be interested in. Tobin then smiled and walked away. Hope didn't know what the smile was for, but all of a sudden, her heart was beating faster. Maybe the voice in her head was finally going to be drowned out by reality. At least that was what she was hoping.

After Hope had received the information from Tobin, she decided to see what would happen. After training the next day, it seemed like Kelley was much friendlier than she usually was. When they met in the conference room later, Kelley sat down in front of Hope, even when there were empty chairs by her friends. After the meeting, she turned around to give Hope a hug and then walked out the door. Hope just stood there unable to move. When Carli saw what happened, she took Hope by the arm and pulled her to the elevator and then to their room. They talked late into the night, and Hope told Carli about everything that had happened with her and Jerramy. She told her about what Tobin had said the day before, and she let it all out about her feelings for Kelley, and how she thought that she had messed everything up for good four years ago. They both agreed that it was time for Hope to get everything out in the open with Kelley, even if it didn't end the way she wanted it to. She couldn't go on wondering if she and Kelley could really have a life together.

The next day was an off day so Hope decided that she needed to take Kelley someplace where they could talk without being interrupted. She texted Kelley and asked her if they could talk. When Kelley texted her back, and said yes, Hope got the keys to one of the vans. She also found some food, drinks and blankets. She put them in the van and went upstairs to get Kelley. Since they were near a beach, Hope decided that would be a perfect place, because Kelley loved beaches. The ride to the beach was pretty quiet. There was some small talk, but both of them were feeling nervous, so they mostly just rode in silence. They found a secluded spot , unloaded the van, and spot a good place to set everything up. They decided to eat first and talked about the retirements, about what they expected from this camp and the upcoming tournaments. Then they couldn't delay the reason they were there any longer. It was now or never.

Since this was her idea, Hope decided to speak first. She was really nervous and she asked Kelley to let her get everything she needed to say out before she said anything. So she took a deep breath and dove in.  
"Kelley, this is really hard but I have to tell you this. I've kept it inside for too long. I began having more than friend feelings for you during the 2012 Olympics. Those feelings scared me so much for a lot of different reasons, so I decided that I needed to get away from you and completely change my life. So I went home to Seattle and did everything I could to forget about you. I began going out and partying. I began drinking more than I should have, and I began dating as much as possible to prove that it was men I wanted, and not you. After a while I met Jerramy through some mutual friends and we began dating. We had dated casually during college, but hadn't seen each other since then. He seemed like a really nice guy at the time, although I found out some things about his past later, and we began to get closer. It seemed like a good fit for me. I cared about him, maybe even loved him, but I wasn't in love with him. He would be there for me, but he couldn't hurt me emotionally if things didn't work out. After dating for a few months, he asked me to marry him. I thought this would be the life I was suppose to have. A man to take care of me, to give me a family and be there when things were rough. And because this seemed to be the life I was suppose to have, my feelings for you would go away, and I wouldn't be in love with someone that could hurt me if it didn't work out. Things were fine when I was in Seattle with Jerramy, but when I was in camp and we were playing games, it was so painful to be around you. My heart ached so much for you, because no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get over you. By this time you were with Ann, and you seemed so happy. I decided that I couldn't do anything to take that away from you. I knew then that I had completely destroyed any chance I had with you, so I decided to try to make the best of my marriage and move on. But during this time, Jerramy saw completely through my facade and called me on it right before the I left for the World Cup run up. I told him about the feelings I had for you at the Olympics and that even though I cared about him, even loved him in a way, that I had never been in love with him. I told him you were the only one I had ever been in love with, but that I had ruined any chance I'd had of being with you when I married him. I apologized to him for not being honest and for hurting him. To my surprise, he accepted what I said really well. He told me that he loved me too, but that he didn't think he had ever been in love with me either, and that he wanted to be with someone that loved him as much as he loved them. We decided that night that our marriage was over, but we would continue to appear married for the public until after the World Cup for sure, and possible even the Olympics. For the time being, it was the best thing to do. After that we basically lived our own lives except for appearances for the National Team. Jerramy is now with the person he was looking for, and a little birdie told me yesterday that you and Ann had broken up, so I decided to take a chance and tell you how I feel about you. I don't know if I still have a chance, but I know I had to try. Kelley, I love you so much, I have for the last four years. I just need to know if there is a chance that I can fix this situation that I caused. Even if the answer is no, I still have to hear you say it".

Kelley just sat and stared at the water. She was having a hard time finding the words to say. After a few minutes, she looked at Hope with tears streaming down her face. She tried to compose herself so she could tell Hope what she had been wanting to say to her for so long. She was having a hard time processing what Hope had just told her, so it took her a few more minutes to say what she needed to say.  
"Hope, I had the same feelings at the Olympics, even the year before at the World Cup. I even thought you felt the same way. But when we went home after we won the Gold Medals and I didn't hear from you, I thought I had misinterpreted the way you were acting as just being friendly. It hurt so much because I thought I was falling in love with you, and somehow I thought you felt the same way. Then you got engaged after only a few months, the next thing I know, you're getting married.  
I decided that I had to move on, so I started dating as many women as I could, started drinking more than I should have and did everything I could to forget about you. Obviously having to see you at camp and at games was hard, but a few close friends helped me. When I met Ann I really did like her a lot, she wasn't you, but I thought that eventually my feelings for her would turn into love. I did finally begin to love her, but I was never in love with her. She made me happy, but there was always something missing. That was enough for a few years because I really tried to make be enough. If I couldn't have the woman I was in love with, I would be with the woman who made me somewhat happy. After awhile even that wasn't enough for me. During the Victory Tour after the World Cup, Tobin and Christen got together. I saw what being in love was really about, and I knew that what Ann and I had was not what I wanted. I wanted to be with someone that I was in love with, not with someone I only cared about. I didn't know if I would ever be in love with someone else like I was in love with you, but I felt like I was being unfair to both Ann and myself by staying with her. After the New Orleans game, I sat down with her and told her how I felt about you, that I thought I could make myself fall in love with her if I tried hard enough, but it just didn't happen. That conversation was a lot like your and Jerramy's, except Ann really felt like she was in love with me, but she wanted the person she was in love with to be in love with her too. So as hard as it was for her, she agreed that we were doing the right thing by breaking up. As of Dec. 20 we decided to let each other go. It wasn't as easy I as I thought it would be, and it hurt more than I imagined it would, but it was the right thing to do for both of us. Hope, I love you even more now than I did 4 years ago, so there is no way my answer is going to be no. I know we'll have to deal with a lot of things to get where we want to be, but I can't imagine doing those things with anyone but you. So yes, there is a chance that we can fix this situation".

As they sit on the beach after finally being able to tell each other how they feel now, and have felt for such a long time, they moved closer together to hold hands. Hope looks into Kelley's eyes and asked her if she could kiss her. Kelley had waited so long for this moment so she leaned toward Hope so that their lips were almost touching, and then it finally happened. The kiss that they both had been waiting for for such a long time finally happened. It was more than either one of them had hoped for. The only thing that caused them to stop was the need to breathe. Hope put her hands on either side of Kelley's face and kissed her forehead. "I love you so much. I don't know how I didn't realize that before". Kelley just smiled with tears in her eyes. 'I love you so much too, but maybe before wasn't the right time for us and now is. I don't care what's happened before now, I just care about now and where we go from here. We don't have to hide our feelings from each other, we just have to go forward together".

They stayed at the beach for a while longer, enjoying being together and planning what they were going to do during camp, and after they had to go back to their homes. They decided not to tell anyone except for a few really close friends that they knew they could trust and who would be there to support them. Now they would sit down with Jerramy and work out the logistics of this life for all of them. There was a long way to go before they would be where they wanted to be, but the really hard part was over. Now they could begin to breathe and love each other the way they've wanted for so long.

After that day on the beach, their lives are so much better. They still have to be careful since they don't want most everyone to know about them yet, but with the help of Jerramy and their friends, they now have some semblance of a happy life. Everything is going well until the Olympics. Then the hard part rears its ugly head once again. They love each other so much, but they're going to have to hold on tight and not let go. Is the love they've waited so long to have together going to be enough to get through this.

End of Flashback.

Kelley wakes up about 30 minutes before they're supposed to land. When Mrs. Fletcher sees that Kelley's awake she walks back and sits across from her. "Kelley, I don't know all of the details about why you need to get to Seattle, but your dad gave us a quick synopsis of what happened to Hope. I know she is a good friend, so please know that we won't say anything about you going to Seattle. If you and Hope, or both of you, need to fly anywhere, please let us know. We'll be more than happy to take you where you need to go."  
Kelley smiles at her, "thank you so much. I don't know how long I'll be in Seattle, but if you're in the area when I'm ready to return to Atlanta, I'd love to get a ride with you."  
Mrs. Fletcher takes Kelley's hand, "I'm not sure how long we'll be in Vancouver, but here is our number so you can call when you need to go back. I don't want to invade your privacy, but we heard about what happened to Hope this morning. We're not happy about it at all, so if we can help in any way, please let us know."  
"Thank you so much Mrs. Fletcher. I really appreciate both of your support, and I know it will make Hope feel good that you both support her. Thank you again for everything, Hope and I really appreciate your help."  
Mrs. Fletcher smiles, "we're more than happy to help. Call us anytime."

Just as Kelley and Mrs. Fletcher were concluding their conversation, Mr. Fletcher calls from the cockpit for them to get ready to land. Mrs. Fletcher returns to her seat and buckles in. Kelley brings her seat back up and buckles in too. The landing is smooth and quick. As the plane comes to a stop, Kelley sees Chelsea driving up to the plane. When the door opens, Kelley thanks Mr. Fletcher, waves to both of them, then walks down the steps to get in the car. She turns to Chelsea and gives her a hug.  
"Thank you so much for being there for Hope, and for picking me up."  
Chelsea hugs her back, "You're more than welcome on both accounts," then drives off the tarmac, towards the airport exit. "How are you doing?” Kelley smiles, "I'm ok. I'm just worried about Hope. Is she okay?”

As they are driving to the house, Chelsea fills her in on how Hope is doing. "She was still asleep when I left. I'm glad she decided to get the sleeping pills though. She was so upset after the meeting, I wasn't sure what she was going to do. When she finally took a pill, she was asleep within 20 minutes."  
"How often is she supposed to take one in order to stay asleep?" Kelley asks.  
"I think every 8 hours, but if she wakes up after 6 or 7 hours, it's okay for her to take another one. She only has four, so they will last until tomorrow. If she needs more, she'll have to call the doctor and get some more. But now that you're here, hopefully that won't be necessary."  
"I hope that me being here helps too," Kelley says.

When they arrive at the house and go inside, Jerramy is coming down the stairs from checking on Hope. He hugs Kelley and the three of them walk into the living room and sit down. "She woke up about an hour ago. I wasn't able to get her to eat anything, but she did drink a smoothie. She wanted to go back to sleep, so she took another pill. She went back to sleep pretty soon after taking the pill. She woke up after 7 hours, so she should stay asleep until around 2AM. If you think you have everything under control, we're going to go to Chelsea's. One of us still has to go to the store for supplies so we can leave for the cabin early in the morning. You should have enough food and other necessities for the next 2 weeks. I also filled up the gas tank in case you need to use the car. We're taking the dogs so you won't have to deal with them, but Hope will still have to take care of the chickens and the cat. That will be give her something to do. It will be good for her."

Kelley gets up to walk them out. "We will be fine. I'm going to eat something and take a shower, then I'll lay down with her. It's been a long day and I'm beginning to feel really tired. I'll be able to take a nap before she wakes up. Thank you both for everything. I don't know what we would have done without both of you."  
Chelsea gives Kelley a hug, "You're our friends, and part of our family. We're going to help both of you get through this."  
Jerramy hugs Kelley, "I second that. We'll be here for both of you as long as you need us. We better go so we won't be up all night. If you need us, you can call anytime. We have WiFi at the cabin so you shouldn't have a problem reaching us. We can be back in 2 hours if you need us. Bye."

After Jerramy and Chelsea leave, Kelley goes upstairs to take a shower. She goes into her and Hope's bedroom to get clothes to sleep in and check to see how Hope is doing. She's sleeping peacefully, so before Kelley gets her clothes, she kisses Hope on the forehead and pulls the covers up over her shoulders. Before she walks away, she whispers to Hope, "I love you so much baby, we're going to get through this, I promise." Kelley takes her clothes into the guest bathroom so she won't disturb Hope. After a long hot shower, she heads downstairs to find something to eat.

After she finishes eating, Kelley head upstairs to go to sleep. Hope should be asleep another 3 or 4 hours, so she's looking forward to getting some sleep herself. When Kelley gets upstairs, Hope is still sleeping. She's laying on her left side facing away from the door so Kelley pulls the covers back and crawls in behind her. Hope doesn't move, so Kelley slides her arm under the keeper and pulls her close. She's missed being able to hold Hope, and even though she's asleep, Kelley wouldn't change this moment for anything.

Sometime around 2AM Hope wakes up, still groggy from the sleeping pill. She starts to get up to go into the bathroom to wash her face and brush her teeth. It feels like Kelley's arms around her, but she convinces herself that she's just dreaming and the pills are making her hallucinate. While she's in the bathroom she looks for the sleeping pills. All she wants to do is go back to sleep. She can't find them, so she decides that Jerramy or Chelsea must have put them on the nightstand. She walks out of the bathroom and across the room to turn on the light. She still can't get the feeling of Kelley's arms around her, out of her mind.

  
She thinks those sleeping pills must be really strong to make her think Kelley was holding her. Hope flips the light on and turns around to look for the pills. She's so surprised to see that Kelley really is laying there in bed. She starts to quickly turn the light off so it doesn't wake Kelley up when Kelley turns over and grins. As she sits up she says, "Hi babe"  
Hope starts crying and turns off the light before going back to bed. "You really are here. I thought I was dreaming."  
She lays down facing Kelley and Kelley puts her arms around Hope and holds her. Hope pulls back a little and asks her, "I can't believe you're really here When did you get here?"  
Kelley leans on her elbow and kisses Hope on her forehead. "When Jerramy called I told him I was coming to Seattle, and he agreed I should. I called my dad and asked him to help me get a private flight here. He was able to find me a flight, so here I am.”

"I'm so glad you're here", Hope says. I'm sorry I didn't call. I was so______", as she tries to explain to Kelley why she hadn't called her like she said she would. Kelley cuts her off in mid-sentence. "Stop right there. You have nothing to apologize for. I understand, but I was just so worried. But I'm here now so we're going to get through this together."

"Kell, how long can you stay?"  
"I'll be here as long as you need me. Right now you are my first priority”

"Are Jerramy and Chelsea still here?”  
"No, they're staying at Chelsea's tonight and they're going to the cabin first thing in the morning. They're going to stay there for at least a week or two, they're not sure yet. They took the dogs so we didn't have to take care of them, but the chickens and cat are still here. Jerramy went to the store so we are stocked up on food and other necessities for at least the next two weeks. There is even gas in the car if we need to use it."  
"I don't know what I would have done without them this past week. I really did want you here, but I couldn't let you get caught up in all of this. Having them here has been one the few things that have kept me sane". Kelley kisses Hope again and lays them both back down facing each other. "I'm glad they were here too. It kept me from worrying so much about you. We have a lot to talk about , but now I think we need to get some sleep. Do you need a sleeping pill to get back to sleep? Jerramy gave them to me in case you needed one.”  
"I don't think so, now that you're here. I think I'll be able to fall back to sleep without any problem. That is unless having slept the past 14 hours is a deterrent." Hope laughs and kisses Kelley on the forehead.

Kelley pulls Hope close again and tells her, "Just lay your head on my chest and listen to my heart beat. Now that you're next to me, I'm sure it sounds like a metronome." Just as Kelley laughs at what she just said, Hope lifts up her head, leans over and kisses Kelley long and slow. When she finally pulls away, Kelley looks at her and says, "WOW". Hope smiles really big and tells Kelley, "I just wanted to make sure your heart was beating fast enough to help me go to sleep". Kelley grins at her. "Well I sure hope it helps you, but I'm not sure if I can sleep now", then Kelley gives Hope another long, slow kiss. "Just wanted to make sure that you can get to sleep", and then she lays on her back and pulls Hope over to lay on her chest with Hope's arm across Kelley's waist.

After a few seconds Hope lifts her head again and looks at Kelley. "Kell?"  
"Yeah", Kelley says and looks up at Hope. "Kell, thank you for being here. I know now that I can't deal with this by myself, and there is no one I want helping me more than you. I love you so much."  
Kelley smiles and looks up at Hope, "I'm glad you've decided that, because all I want to do is be with you and help you get through this so we can be together all the time. That's all I want." Kelley closes her eyes and Hope lays her head back down on her chest. She can feel Kelley's breathing slow down and her body relax. She remembers how it feels when Kelley is falling asleep, and she moves closer to her. She loves Kelley so much. She can't believe she ever thought that life without Kelley was what she wanted. But now Kelley was here, and Hope would do whatever it took for them to stay together. She promises herself as she lays there listening to Kelley sleep, that she will never run from Kelley again.

As Hope lays with her head on Kelley's chest, she's beginning to get sleepy. Listening to her heartbeat really is the best medicine for Hope to go to sleep. She's finally safe and happy. She'll deal with all of the other stuff with Kelley by her side. Just as sleep begins to overtake her, from out of nowhere, a thought pops into her head. It's a thought that Hope is going to use to get them through all the problems that will come their way the next few months. With that thought in her head, and a soft smile on her face, Hope hugs Kelley tight and lets herself begin to drift off to sleep. As sleep overtakes her, Hope knows this thought will help her deal with whatever comes her way. "Sometimes a loss, really is a win".Actions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked the direction this chapter took. I will do my best to post a new chapter each week. Stay tuned.


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